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“Satire is amazing at starting conversations,” Ford told The Salt Lake Tribune. Babylon Bee, he decided, would do for believers what The Onion did by lampooning culture and politics more generally. It provides fake news for the soul - on one hand poking fun at everyone within the American Christian landscape from televangelists, right-wing fundamentalists and megachurch evangelicals to liberal, progressive churches on the other - and boasts nearly 426,000 Facebook followers and almost 100,000 on Twitter.įord, a former atheist who underwent a “radical transformation” to faith at age 21 (“No logical explanation for it, other than God reaching out and saving me by his grace”), thought Christians needed to laugh at themselves.
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The book’s hilarious, often wince-inducing roller-coaster ride through the foibles of self-absorbed faith will be no surprise to fans of Babylon Bee, which Ford founded and launched in March 2016. The best way to share the gospel effectively is “to totally own your opponents, arguing them into the faith through the sheer brilliance of your intellect,” the book advises. “How to Be a Perfect Christian” goes on to mentor the reader in a sort of Worship 101 (“now throw yo hands in the ay-err, and wave ’em like you just don’t cay-err - The Apostle Paul”) Christian authenticity (“never let anyone get close enough to your life to see what a mess it is below the surface”) mastering “Christianese” (“the secret language of the superspiritual”) and flocking to social media by posting Bible study selfies and jumping into bitter online arguments over faith traditions and backgrounds. … It’s pretty much ‘Soul Train’ at all times when you’re among a charismatic congregation.”įord and Mann go on to explore Presbyterians and other Calvinist, or “Reformed,” denominations (strict, but “cool with beer … as long as it’s a craft microbrew with a high enough alcohol content to put down a mature African elephant”), and Mainline Protestant churches (if you can find one open before it closes “due to bleeding beliefs and declining attendance”), before recommending jumping “right into a nondenominational paradise.”Įven then, make it a megachurch with a “superslick website” and a “beliefs page” that lists U2 lyrics rather than a dogmatic statement of faith offers streaming video of services for those who find the mere act of getting out of bed on a Sunday a nonstarter and has myriad “ministries” for “every age level, race, color, creed, nationality, hobby, gender, hair color, and species under the sun.” Pentecostals “allow you to get drunk, but only on the Holy Spirit. Time, then, for church shopping, and to “ditch that group of hopeless losers who have been holding you back.” And to do that, just Google “church near me that has cool coffee bar,” or “isn’t weird or stuffy,” or “uses T-shirt cannons.”īaptists, they write, are of “noble heritage” and have great potlucks, but frown on drinks any stronger than Diet Mountain Dew. We don’t need that kind of negativity in our lives.” Flawed people? Excuse us … but we’re trying to become absolutely perfect here, not hang out with a bunch of messed-up folks. Nice sentiment, the book jibes, but “it’s also completely wrong. In the 21st century, that foundation should, Ford and Mann sardonically suggest, lead the modern American believer out of that boring church where flawed people gather to “know and love better, and learn to love others.” “See, to become perfect, you need to be baptized in the glorious waters of Christian culture,” they write, “ perfectly preserved bubble of everything that made the church awesome in 1950, like gospel quartets, three-piece suits, and pipe organs, with all the good vibes and positive energy of the ’60s.”